So over the last few weeks I’ve been working on mixes for friends and family. This song still makes me super happy, and is going out to a mix to all my friends. I don’t care if this band is the definition of hipster.
Since getting home from the hospital I’ve been reverting in years in both my clothes and music. Here’s a song that’s been on repeat recently.
So they have the radiation machine zapping me from 4 different angles. I was pretty sure I could at least keep a mohawk, so instead of waiting for my hair to just fall on out Alex and I got my new hairdo cut. The nurses seemed to like it. Apparently this kind of mohawk is most like Mister T’s, which I’m more than happy with. They said if the rest of the hair falls out I can’t blame the radiologists, but I can go bitch at the chemo.
Okay, so here’s the rundown in bullet form.
Hospital time (why you guys gotta stick me with so many needles?)
- Had a seizure while driving in early May 2015. No accident, but now I can’t drive for at least 1/2 year. I wouldn’t want to risk anyone’s safety so I’m down with that law.
- A friend from work took me to the UF Health ER.
- Alex arrived while I was in the waiting room and could see that I was pretty loopy.
- They wanted to draw blood and scare me with needles so I got a healthy dose of Xanax to help blur all of it out.
- They scanned me and found a few areas where they thought I had cancer.
- I ended up having cancer in the frontal lobe of my brain.
- They got me brain surgery pronto.
- I’ve got a metal plate in my skull now. I wonder if it’s bullet proof.
- The surgeon came in and told me and family that while he removed the tumor I was terminal with Glioblastoma, and that I had about 11 months to kick around on planet earth.
- The oncologist came in later sporting an awesome bow-tie and made it sound like I might be able to get a few years since I was younger and fairly healthy.
- Friends and family started searching the internet like detectives. I was told that some people have lived upwards of 10 years.
- While I was at the hospital all the nurses kicked ass and were top notch. Much respect goes out to them. I still need to send them some thank you cards and some gift cards for putting up with my needle phobic ass.
- I left the hospital after a few days which I was surprised about since someone was just cutting around in my brainz.
Home time (what happened to the last three weeks?)
- Alex and family took me home and took care of me while I was all kind of screwy on pain killers.
- They seemed surprised that I was fairly optimistic and vocal about how I wanted things to go down. Hey I’m a pessimist so I’ve had soooooo much time to think of terrible situations like this. Now that this shit has happened, what the hell, I can be an optimist and do my best to be happy damnit!
- The pain wasn’t too bad, but I’d have nights where family would come over and give me neck rubs to cut through the pain that was pulsing out of my skull. It felt so good to have family there for me. I felt so much love.
- After a few weeks of haziness I started to become more aware of went down and worked through some tough shit in my head.
- I’m now starting my chemo and radiation treatment.
- I have no idea how much longer I have left to live, and I’m trying not to think about it in those terms. I have each day I have and I want each to be a great day where the people I’m around know that I love and respect them sooo much.
So that sums up the bigger points.
I’ve been told by a few people that it’s helpful to update a blog while you’re going through cancer treatment. It can take a lot of energy to keep everyone individually updated, so instead of not saying anything at all to everyone individually, I’ll be posting up some updates on how things are going. I’ll actually probably post more about non cancer stuff, cause cancer fucking sucks and it can go take the back seat most of the time.